I’ve never been romantically close to anyone,
but it’s not like I’ve never been close to someone.
The temptation does exist, however,
to believe that I don’t know how to get close.

Though I try, I don’t understand the mechanisms.
Who does what, and how does the process work?
What is the difference between getting to know someone,
and getting to know someone romantically?

Is there a difference?
How do you differentiate when you’ve just met?
How do you correct the course when you decide?
Or is it too late once you’ve started?

Perhaps I am overanalyzing in asking these questions.
Perhaps I am ignoring the smallest details.
Perhaps I am so critical I can’t see what is in front of me.
Perhaps I am full of shit.

I want to get married.
I want to have children.
I want to have someone to hold in my arms,
through the night until morning comes.

I know God has someone for me, somewhere out there.
At least, that’s what I try to convince myself of.
Truth is, I’m no longer convinced.