It is 10:28pm as I begin to type this conclusion. I’ve checked out of my room and all my bags are packed, and I leave for the airport in only six hours.

It’s weird.

If you had asked me a couple months ago if I were ready to go home, I would have said, “Yes! Yes! Unequivocally yes!” Even a month ago, or a couple of weeks ago, that would have been the case. But the sun has come out… in more ways than just one.

I didn’t feel like what I was doing at work was anything special, but the people there really appreciated me… and I appreciate that. The open show of support towards the end really turned things around in terms of the way I was feeling. I mean, I might come back. I don’t know how I would manage to make things work here, it’s just so damn expensive… but I wouldn’t be too terribly opposed if I could make it work.

And with the weather warming up, the people here seem to have warmed up, too. I can now walk down the street and see plenty of people with smiles and a bounce in their step, where before there was only anger and misery. I’m not sure if it was merely my perception changing, or if there really is a change in people because of the weather. It sparked a change in my own attitude, so I wouldn’t doubt if other people respond in the same way.

Coming up here, I thought I was moving to the New York I thought I knew through the movies. The bright, sun-shiny, beautiful Upper West Side, Central Park, Cloisters New York. I discovered very quickly that that perception of New York is a meticulously crafted fake New York, romanticized often by purely native New Yorkers. My bubble burst so quickly, and the resulting funk left me extremely homesick.

But in my last three or so weeks here, I’ve begun to see what natives love about New York so much. Central Park on a nice, clear day is absolutely amazing, and EVERYONE grabs a spot in the fields and just hangs out. You don’t get that in Texas, because it’s only nice for about a week before it gets too hot to do that. Meanwhile, all the plants are sprouting, and the trees are a gorgeous green. And the Cloisters are fabulously serene......

The New York of the movies is a real New York, but only at certain times of the year. I love this New York… But I can’t handle another New York winter. So I’m a little sad to be leaving everyone I’ve gotten so close to, and the weather I’m becoming very fond of, but Texas has never left me in a month-long, hazy funk. And Texas has mexican food. And cheap everything. I’m looking forward to going home, but I do think I’m going to miss what I have here.

Will I come back? That still remains to be seen.