I think that this is a little somber note to discuss, so I will leave you with the note from the apartment complex…

Please pay this total right away!!! We need for you to contact the office right away to tell us ”why rent is not paid” (why is this in quotes?).
IF PAYMENT NOT IN THE OFFICE WE WILL DO LOCK OUT’S FOR NON-PAYMENT OF RENT. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx. WE WILL ALSO FILE EVICTION PAPERS ON YOU. IF WE DON’T KNOW WHY RENT I NOT PAID IN FULL. RENT SHOULD BE ALREADY BE PAID BY NOW (to be or to be again).

SIGNATURE______________________________ WITNESS____________________

PLEASE COME AND TALK TO US TODAY DON’T WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!

CALL NOW !!!! (notice that there is no number to call)

[shaking his head]
Your Pal,

So sometimes you get a glimpse of how beautiful life really is. One of those times came this morning. It was a cool 67 on the thermometer, on a flat out clear day, with just enough breeze that you hair would move. I through the top down and was giving one of my most awesome friends Caroline a ride to the bank, and on the way back, after having filled my belly with kolaches from Jack n Jill Doughnuts, I decide to try and just go. I think that I hit 105 before I realized my exit was coming up. Man in that time where my foot was punched to the floor, I was alive. I felt like Superman zooming through the atmosphere. It was awesome, and like most things in life it was only made better by the company. A moment I’ll never forget!

Your Pal,

To drink or not to drink, to get high or to remain sober, and to engage in fornication or not to. I have these decisions looming over me at this point. I want to do all three. I want to have each of those as part of my life experience, but I am scared that I am violating myself. I mean, I don’t know what is even going on with girls. I am so lost and just want someone to talk to honestly with, and have them give the reaction that I want. I don’t know if that will happen, but if it does, I will be happy, at least for a time. I doubt that I will have sex, because that is more a decision of timing than anything else. It will happen and I feel that saving that for someone special (my wife) and that there is nothing that I should do to jeopardize that. The drinking and the drugs are different. There is a point at when I have to stop doing stupid stuff. When I have to be responsible for others lives and my own (on more of a level than I am now). I want to try new things, and at this point I think that I have tried most of what I feel is exciting. I mean that I want to know certain things feel like, and the sensation of getting high, tripping, whatever you want to call it, I want to know what it feels like. I want to have that sensation pulsate through my body, and ponder on it. The drinking is another thing all together. I don’t know whether I will ever start to drink in my lifetime, but if I am going to, I should start now. I mean why waste time. Those are my reasons for. The reasons against are that I feel like getting high is wrong, not to mention illegal and dangerous. I could become an addict or I could get busted and kicked out of college and never able to get a job again. Now these are unlikely scenarios, I mean to say that those aren’t my reasons for doing it. Right now the main reason is that it is a sin and that I have never done it before. I think that it says a lot about the testimony if they haven’t just quit something, but moreover that they had the fortitude not to ever do it. I am afraid that it will, in some way, hurt my Christianity. I don’t ever want to hurt my walk with God; even now when I don’t feel him in my life. I don’t want to make a decision that will last a lifetime, when it is a momentary mood where I feel like I am no longer attached to my God. Oh well I think that I have about a week to make this decision, at least about the pot. I have someone coming over that will make me a very tempting offer, and whether I do or not will be a lifelong decision. But I think that’s life, “Huge decisions in the crunch that define who you are forever.”...

I am feeling better about my friends situation. Like I do have friends who love me and things to do on the weekend. Seth and I (a group that we are) are finding a nitch in which to run in. I think that I’m gonna be okay. I just need to keep a sunny outlook. Though it helps that Joseph is in town. He is always the voice of reason in my life, and God knows that I need that now more than ever…

I think that this is enough reality for a Saturday night, I am too young to be dealing with all of this crap…

Your Pal,

SPURS WIN—SPURS WIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My heart is lifted to the point that I can say no more…

Your Pal,

I cry out to the Oh Lord God. I need you. I write this as my testimony, ” I put my academic situation in Your hands God. I am not able to do it on my own. I tried and I have failed. It may be too late for You to help, You may need for me to learn another lesson, but I beg for Your grace. It is in writing this that I can see my faith. I have been hearing a lot these days that would make me question my faith, that Christianity is no more real than any other religion, that it is all coincidence and chance that has brought it this far. I feel You, I know that You move in me and in others. I know that You are real because of the same reasons that I know that the wind is real, because I see it’s effects. I see how You move to keep me going. I cry out to You in my hour of need. There is no way that this trial can be met on my own. I need You to get me through; to carry me when I can walk no more. I am in the face of my trials and I need to call on the Great that I am, for only You can make me great, and that is what it will take to survive this. I am not asking that /you to help me in the way that I see, but in any way. Not mine will, but Yours be done. I beseech You oh Most High….grant me grace.

Your Child,

Well, I am confused…I was dumped twice within about thirty hours, by the same girl, for the same reason (I mean, not really dumped, since we’d only been seeing each other a week, but I like the alliterative sound). I have to say though the reason was what surprised me the most. I, James “Don Jaime” Rodgers, the guy that has kissed 46 girls and broken at least as many hearts, was dumped for BEING TO SERIOUS! I have to say that is the most amazing part about all of this, especially when you consider that she asked me to come home with her after five days of dating.

What happened was that she said that she thought she was falling in love with me, and so I felt it was supposed to tell her that I was falling in love with her, a bit soon after only dating for one week, but I felt comfortable based on the progression of the relationship. She I guess saw this as the wake up call that I was serious about being serious. Anyway, she then told me once that she didn’t think that we should date, because it ( I ) was moving to fast. I then told her that if we brake up that I would not get back together, and that if she did want to stay with me that we could slow it down. She decided that we could go ahead and continue on dating. I decided to cool it and go out with my boys the next night. I didn’t talk to her for the next day and a half, then called her today to confirm that we still had a date that night. She informed me that she forgot about a previous engagement, but that she would call me later. I took it as okay, then laid down to take a nap. I was awakened Lindsey calling my phone, she said she wanted to come by and see me, I said sure. I through on some clothes and almost immediately answered my door, I sat down, started watching the television. She started some small talk, and the next thing I hear is, ” I don’t think that we should see each other any more.”

I immediately started making my plans, I told myself to play it cool. After breaking a few hearts I know that it is easier for both parties if no one makes a scene. I sat there played like it didn’t affect me, and then started telling myself that I would go out with Travis tonight, and find some young vixen to cure what ails me. I decided that the best way was the way that I handle most things, ignore my feelings, and then cut the person off. This however left me with some questions. I wanna know what changed her mind about giving me a chance to calm it down. I am curious about why it is okay for her to move fast on me, but I can’t move fast on her. I am just trying to figure out what happened. I am just totally confused. I also made the decision, that if I don’t want to repeat the mistakes of the past, then I don’t need repeat the patterns of the past. In other words, I’m gonna try and avoid the rebound that I am almost famous for. “Ah well tomorrow is another day…”

Your Pal,

I failed this afternoon, I caved, I gave in…I want to draw near to you, and I feel the desire burning in me, but I don’t think that I am strong enough. I know that I’m not strong enough, I know that only through you am I able to go through the trials ahead of me. I think that I am getting a clearer picture of life, or at least Christ through life. See, Satin will puts these trials in your life hoping that he can drive you to failure. God will swoop in and save you, but he requires that you give everything, and I mean absolutely everything, you’ve got. I think that your part is a requirement to get the job done. I have found lately that giving all you have is a lot easier said than done…

Your Pal,

Hey, I know that it has been a while, so I guess I will make this memorable, though it will still have to be short. I want you to know that I love you, even though I am riddled with doubt about whether I know you, or whether I am yet to meet you. I have a lot of feelings running through my body, and can’t make sense of any of them. I know that you are the one that God has set aside for me and yet I wonder if you are out there at all. Maybe you are hiding in some friend, maybe you have cloaked yourself in the one of my past loves. I don’t know. I know that I am missing you all the time, and I hope that I have the will power to hold out for you…

Your…

Moving into my apartment today…yeah…I have no idea when the next time that I will write is gonna be. I plan on workin a lot and that coupled with the fact that I don’t have a PC over there yet, well, I guess I would estimate it being a while till we talk again…

Your Pal,

Oh man, It’s been a long time. I know, and I am soooo sorry, but my computer crashed and I needed to get it fixed. I don’t know if I will get everything filled in right away, but I’ll do as much as I can.

I turned 21 last week, and am really enjoying the results. No, not really, I don’t drink and don’t plan on it so there are not a lot of things that will change for m now that I am 21, with the exception of not having to have go wash those crappy X’s off of my hand.

I am moving out on Saturday and can’t wait. I really want to get settled before the end of the month. You don’t know this yet, but my Bro bailed on me. He decided that he didn’t want to move out until July and I simply couldn’t wait. I am gonna wing it till Stevo arrives in August. I think that it will be nice having my own place, plus there were signs that it just wasn’t going to work out with Las. This has however put a serious blow on our friendship, but I have examined the situation and feel that it is for the best. 

I have started my new job and though it isn’t the greatest job in the world, it gives me the day and weekends off to do my own things. I think that I will be there for the couple of months that is required of me.

Okay well by for now, I am gonna try and get my computer back to normal…

Your Pal,